My Black Dog Weekend is Over
I remember me at six years old completely overwhelmed by sadness and feeling totally alone. I sat on the playground unmoved for all of recess despite my friend’s effort to rouse me into playing. This shadow, this dark overpowering sadness, this depression ebb and flows through my life. It’s always present, sometimes very far away and small, sometimes huge, big, and right on top of me, but always there. A couple of years ago, while furiously working in my garden, feeling dark and sad, I got mad. I said something like, “fine, I will just be depressed for the rest of my life.” Suddenly, I felt better. I actually laughed out loud. I finally accepted that this depression was just part of my life and would likely always be with me. Since then the depression has stayed mostly quiet and even on bad days it did not shut me down. This past weekend it crushed me. I could not eat or enjoy anything, and weariness overwhelmed me. The weariness of depression is not like physical tiredne...